The past several months I have felt truly blessed. I don't know if it's because it's the first time I have been looking at life like a blessing or because it truly has been blessed more so than it has before, either way I love it. I have seen it in my life and in the people around me. Here are some of the more memorable ones I have to share because blessings and miracles need to be shared!
I was laid off from my job a couple weeks after being accepted to my mission and less than a week later I was offered a job working with kids at my church by the preschool minister. I thought I was going to be jobless for a while, instead God provided me with a job that I'm happier in. I love working with the little kids, more so than I thought I would like working with kids.
The kids I work with are a blessing. From the things they tell me, to seeing them light up and run up to me. Nothing is more comforting to me than a little kid running up to me saying my name. Or a child who is sad that only wants my comfort and to sit in my lap. Or when my three year old boyfriend says he loves me. Nothing beats it, I never thought I would like working with kids so much, but I do, and I thank Rebecca, Jeanie, and Sharron for giving me the opportunity to be blessed by these kids!
I've seen college students giving til it hurts. Whether it be money, time, sleep, energy, everything. I've seen many of the students at our church volunteer and bless childrens lives. I've seen Kevin give up sleep to be with people in times of need, or making sure everything is perfect for the group. Damian (even though he's not a student) give up so much to make sure The Pulse is the best college group their is.
I watched as the entire group started giving up their change and spare dollars to Chelsea one night in Carl's Jr. I don't think the group realizes that because of that cup full of money it pushed her to exceed her limit of what she needed to get to Africa. And those same students have been sending me their spare change weekly to help me go on my trip.
I have been able to spend time with my brother and my family. Family is a blessing to me, and getting time with my brother has been the best and more than I could have asked for. Spending Christmas with my Aunt and Grandma was really fun. Then spending time with the step family later in the day was also a blessing.
Spending time with close friends has also been amazing. Getting to slackline with some of my favorites on Monday's, or hang out with my sister at work with the kids. Seeing the college group come together for the Christmas party, or partially freeze outside while singing worship songs has made time precious and worth it.
Just being able to take a step back and realize all the blessings that their are around me has made me more thankful that I could ever put down in words. I have seen them almost every day. I have been supported in every way for my mission trip. College kids who don't have much as it is give what they can to help me go. Or the emotional support from them when I get too stressed. Or being able to just spend time with friends has ment the world to me.
The season of what the world sees as the time to be a blessing to others is coming to an end. The new year is coming and people tend to get more self focused. But I have a hope that even though the world's season is ending, my season and the people around me, their season isn't ending! And that gives me great hope.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Mary Did You Know?
I love the Christmas time of year. I love cold weather, the music, the times with friends and family, starbucks holiday cups, I love it all. I also love the Bible studies that happen at this time of the year. At the end of November we did a study on Mary. And I fell in love.
Paul is probably my favorite person in the Bible besides Jesus, but Mary makes a good stand right there with him. I never really understood what Mary went through til this study. I always knew the virgin birth was a miracle, but often times how Mart reacted and acted are not usually focused on.
My pastor asked us how would you feel if Gabriel came up to you and started talking to you. All I could do was laugh. I think it would be totally ridiculous if he did. I'm sure I would instantly recognize him, but I would be totally overcome by laughter. It would be so odd to me if he did and I would have no idea what to do, but laugh. Yet Mary, she embraced it. She understood.
She had little doubt. She does doubt but then in Luke 1:37 it says "for nothing will be impossible with God." And just like that she accepted what God wanted her to do and did it without a problem. She knew what was going to happen and she did it with a smile. She knew that she would be completely and totally ridiculed for claiming that she would have a virgin birth, she knew the rumors that would come, the disgrace to her name. She KNEW and UNDERSTOOD it all. And she did so with no question. Instead she praised God.
I LOVE it. I don't get it at all. I complain when God urges me to go talk to someone else sometimes. I could never imagine God giving me a crazy calling like Mary's. He choose a simple, young, nothing too special, farmers daughter. She was not rich, didn't have any particular talent besides being an amazing friend and daughter, she was not a scholar. She was a simple GIRL. A girl, not a woman. She was young and yet had a steadfast faith.
I admire her. She knew all that was going to come. She knew the scripture and the prophesy. She knew, and she never faltered or questioned. To me that is amazing.
What is God calling us simple grown people to do? Why do we think He can't do the impossible. Remember if we break down impossible, it's I'm possible. And with God all things are possible. And he calls us simple people to do it.
My pastor often says, "God does not call the equipped, He equips the called." Think about it. A young girl was able to, she handled all the ridicule, the rumors, the disgrace, the pain, everything, and she was faithful the entire time.
Paul is probably my favorite person in the Bible besides Jesus, but Mary makes a good stand right there with him. I never really understood what Mary went through til this study. I always knew the virgin birth was a miracle, but often times how Mart reacted and acted are not usually focused on.
My pastor asked us how would you feel if Gabriel came up to you and started talking to you. All I could do was laugh. I think it would be totally ridiculous if he did. I'm sure I would instantly recognize him, but I would be totally overcome by laughter. It would be so odd to me if he did and I would have no idea what to do, but laugh. Yet Mary, she embraced it. She understood.
She had little doubt. She does doubt but then in Luke 1:37 it says "for nothing will be impossible with God." And just like that she accepted what God wanted her to do and did it without a problem. She knew what was going to happen and she did it with a smile. She knew that she would be completely and totally ridiculed for claiming that she would have a virgin birth, she knew the rumors that would come, the disgrace to her name. She KNEW and UNDERSTOOD it all. And she did so with no question. Instead she praised God.
I LOVE it. I don't get it at all. I complain when God urges me to go talk to someone else sometimes. I could never imagine God giving me a crazy calling like Mary's. He choose a simple, young, nothing too special, farmers daughter. She was not rich, didn't have any particular talent besides being an amazing friend and daughter, she was not a scholar. She was a simple GIRL. A girl, not a woman. She was young and yet had a steadfast faith.
I admire her. She knew all that was going to come. She knew the scripture and the prophesy. She knew, and she never faltered or questioned. To me that is amazing.
What is God calling us simple grown people to do? Why do we think He can't do the impossible. Remember if we break down impossible, it's I'm possible. And with God all things are possible. And he calls us simple people to do it.
My pastor often says, "God does not call the equipped, He equips the called." Think about it. A young girl was able to, she handled all the ridicule, the rumors, the disgrace, the pain, everything, and she was faithful the entire time.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Late Night
It's finals week. I have done six hours of work today along so I am wasting time to do this because it seems like much more fun!
1. What time did you get up this morning?
8:20 because my dog was barking
2. How do you like your steak?
Rare, if it moo's its amazing
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Harry potter and the deathly hollows
4. What is your favorite TV show?
How I met your mother or grey's
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
someplace cold, or a beach, or a forest, or anywhere but vegas...
6. What did you have for breakfast?
honey nut cheerios
7. What is your favorite cuisine?
I like a lot, I can always eat pizza, or pasta, or salads
8. What foods do you dislike?
fish! blech. I can have tuna and that's about it
9. Favorite Place to Eat?
where they have good food?
10. Favorite dressing?
ranch
11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Infinity G35
12. What are your favorite clothes?
my very holy jeans which I'm not allowed to wear anymore. Hoodies and jeans rolled up.
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Napal
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
it's overflowing
15. Where would you want to retire?
Kentucky, Oregon, near my family. really anywhere
16. Favorite time of day?
????
17. Where were you born?
Vegas
18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
soccer, college sports. or almost anything on NBC sports channel
22. Bird watcher?
def a people watcher
23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
either/neither. I do fine at either, but I do love my sleep
24. Do you have any pets?
3 amazing dogs
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
? if you're reading this then you basically know anything big that happens
26. What did you want to be when you were little?
a trapeze artist. like they had (or still have?) at Circus Circus, the ones that did the flips and flying between bars
27. What is your best childhood memory?
too many!
28. Are you a cat or dog person?
dog definitly
29. Are you married?
nope
30. Always wear your seat belt?
yep.
31. Been in a car accident?
yep
32. Any pet peeves?
when people at the college don't flush the toilet, seriously, we're in college!
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
pepperoni
34. Favorite Flower?
any! I'm not that picky but I do like the roses that are red and orange or yellow and orange
35. Favorite ice cream?
banana with chocolate sprinkles
36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Del taco, or in n out.
37. How many times did you fail your drivers license test?
once. the second time I passed with 100%
38. From whom did you get your last emails?
probably rei or swell
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
forever 21 or rei
40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
i guess...
41. Like your job?
yes! i love my kiddos and my coworkers! I get to roll on the ground with kids, color, hold and play with babies, arts and crafts, talk with, and play... what's not to like? oh and snack time!
42. Broccoli?
love it
43. What was your favorite vacation?
?? have had a lot lately...
44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
I usually have lunch with people, I guess that last dinner would be with the college group.
45. What are you listening to right now?
the office
46. What is your favorite color?
purple, yellow, gray, ugly green
47. How many tattoos do you have?
two
48. what is your fave Bible Verse?
just one? hahaha
49. Coffee person ?
eh. more of a tea person!
1. What time did you get up this morning?
8:20 because my dog was barking
2. How do you like your steak?
Rare, if it moo's its amazing
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Harry potter and the deathly hollows
4. What is your favorite TV show?
How I met your mother or grey's
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
someplace cold, or a beach, or a forest, or anywhere but vegas...
6. What did you have for breakfast?
honey nut cheerios
7. What is your favorite cuisine?
I like a lot, I can always eat pizza, or pasta, or salads
8. What foods do you dislike?
fish! blech. I can have tuna and that's about it
9. Favorite Place to Eat?
where they have good food?
10. Favorite dressing?
ranch
11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Infinity G35
12. What are your favorite clothes?
my very holy jeans which I'm not allowed to wear anymore. Hoodies and jeans rolled up.
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Napal
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
it's overflowing
15. Where would you want to retire?
Kentucky, Oregon, near my family. really anywhere
16. Favorite time of day?
????
17. Where were you born?
Vegas
18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
soccer, college sports. or almost anything on NBC sports channel
22. Bird watcher?
def a people watcher
23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
either/neither. I do fine at either, but I do love my sleep
24. Do you have any pets?
3 amazing dogs
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
? if you're reading this then you basically know anything big that happens
26. What did you want to be when you were little?
a trapeze artist. like they had (or still have?) at Circus Circus, the ones that did the flips and flying between bars
27. What is your best childhood memory?
too many!
28. Are you a cat or dog person?
dog definitly
29. Are you married?
nope
30. Always wear your seat belt?
yep.
31. Been in a car accident?
yep
32. Any pet peeves?
when people at the college don't flush the toilet, seriously, we're in college!
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
pepperoni
34. Favorite Flower?
any! I'm not that picky but I do like the roses that are red and orange or yellow and orange
35. Favorite ice cream?
banana with chocolate sprinkles
36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Del taco, or in n out.
37. How many times did you fail your drivers license test?
once. the second time I passed with 100%
38. From whom did you get your last emails?
probably rei or swell
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
forever 21 or rei
40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
i guess...
41. Like your job?
yes! i love my kiddos and my coworkers! I get to roll on the ground with kids, color, hold and play with babies, arts and crafts, talk with, and play... what's not to like? oh and snack time!
42. Broccoli?
love it
43. What was your favorite vacation?
?? have had a lot lately...
44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
I usually have lunch with people, I guess that last dinner would be with the college group.
45. What are you listening to right now?
the office
46. What is your favorite color?
purple, yellow, gray, ugly green
47. How many tattoos do you have?
two
48. what is your fave Bible Verse?
just one? hahaha
49. Coffee person ?
eh. more of a tea person!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
1 Month. 7 Months.
Writing the date today in my journal during Bible Study was a total shock for me. I wrote on accident Dec 28 which is my birthday. Today is one month til my 21st birthday and 7 months til I leave on my mission trip.
Although this date isn't set in stone for when I will leave on my trip with all my planning and scheduling and everything that keeps me up at night sometimes all say that I will be leaving in June 28. It's almost scary to think about that date for me though. It seems so far away and yet so close. It's also scary to think that this time next year I will be off in some part of the world that I'm not even sure of. I won't have thanksgiving with my families and won't be black friday shopping with my mom. That's just weird for me to think about.
And then there's my birthday. I'll be 21. In every sense I will be legal. Especially here in Vegas. I could go to a club if I wanted to. I could gamble, if I wanted to. I can drink for the first time legally, if I wanted to. Weird to think about for me. There have been like thousand plans for this day and the only one I'm really sure of is that I am going snowboarding with at least my best friend. Everyone else is more than welcome to come, I think we are going to Lee Canyon for the fact that its close and they didn't raise their prices. If I get enough people to tell me to go to Brianhead I might consider going up there. But at the moment it will be me and Matt heading up there and catching the first runs of the day and coming back exhausted.
It's weird to think about all of this. I'm uber stressed with school ending. I have 7 tests, two days of classes, and two papers and I will finally be done. Then comes the semester of 21 (not 24 like I had planned) credits. It will be a long semester til I leave.
I'm excited and hopeful though. I know it will all come sooner than I expected and I'll be home again before I know it. Oh life.... please give me a break so i can lay in bed and do nothing....
SO nothing too important or life changing in this blog. Just dates and reminders that time is flying by faster and faster.... Let me know if anyone is down to go skiing or snowboarding on my birthday. It's pay your own way (sorry I can't pick up the tab.)
Although this date isn't set in stone for when I will leave on my trip with all my planning and scheduling and everything that keeps me up at night sometimes all say that I will be leaving in June 28. It's almost scary to think about that date for me though. It seems so far away and yet so close. It's also scary to think that this time next year I will be off in some part of the world that I'm not even sure of. I won't have thanksgiving with my families and won't be black friday shopping with my mom. That's just weird for me to think about.
And then there's my birthday. I'll be 21. In every sense I will be legal. Especially here in Vegas. I could go to a club if I wanted to. I could gamble, if I wanted to. I can drink for the first time legally, if I wanted to. Weird to think about for me. There have been like thousand plans for this day and the only one I'm really sure of is that I am going snowboarding with at least my best friend. Everyone else is more than welcome to come, I think we are going to Lee Canyon for the fact that its close and they didn't raise their prices. If I get enough people to tell me to go to Brianhead I might consider going up there. But at the moment it will be me and Matt heading up there and catching the first runs of the day and coming back exhausted.
It's weird to think about all of this. I'm uber stressed with school ending. I have 7 tests, two days of classes, and two papers and I will finally be done. Then comes the semester of 21 (not 24 like I had planned) credits. It will be a long semester til I leave.
I'm excited and hopeful though. I know it will all come sooner than I expected and I'll be home again before I know it. Oh life.... please give me a break so i can lay in bed and do nothing....
SO nothing too important or life changing in this blog. Just dates and reminders that time is flying by faster and faster.... Let me know if anyone is down to go skiing or snowboarding on my birthday. It's pay your own way (sorry I can't pick up the tab.)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Suffering for the Good
When I think about suffering it is never a pleasant thought. I don't think it would be for anyone. But constantly in my faith I find that many people did and do suffer. There is a book called Jesus Freaks that talks about people in the last century really who suffered in the name of Christ. We tend to call them martyrs. These people I almost admire. They weren't like Peter and denied knowing Christ when asked. Tons of people throughout the years have suffered all in the name, and that's a scary thought.
Although I will most likely not be going to countries that are hostile to Christianity while on my trip with YWAM, there is a chance I could be. That's scary as butt for me. To think of going into a country where people are not receptive to Gospel and could imprison me or my team while on the trip is not something I want to think about. But it is a possibility.
This topic has been on the back of my mind for a while now, because again it is something that could happen to me, but its been way back on my mind and I tend not to stress about it. Still, there are times when I sit and think that I could easily loose my life all for Christ. That's CRAZY! Is that something I really want to do? Is that a risk I want to take? Am I willing to make my mom worry while I am away? Would I actually stand up and profess Jesus whole heartily in the times of trouble like Paul, or would I deny running in the same crowd of Jesus like Peter?
Questions, questions, questions!!!! I want to say that I would do anything, and that no matter what I would not be a coward and run from the situation, but yet, I have never been imprisoned for my faith so I don't know what exactly my reaction would be.
So after some deep searching and preparing, and reading, and stressing, and thinking, and running, and going through all the motions, and of course praying about this, I came upon a verse that put my mind at ease during my Bible study last night. It simply says,
They considered themselves worthy to suffer dishonor. Well hello smack in the face. Thanks God for showing me my worries are nothing and that I am once again not in control. I HAVE TO CONSIDER MYSELF WORTHY IF I AM DISHONORED. If I suffer for his name, then I am doing something right. I need not be worried about whether someone will reject me, or if I am locked in prison, cause it would be an honor.
Crazy how I would think that being in prison for sharing my faith or suffering for His name would be a bad thing. When in all actuality it means that I am doing what is good. When I read Paul's letters from prison he never has a negative look about it, he was happy to be there. He knew he was doing good and he was there not because of what he did was wrong, but because people didn't want to hear it and the only way to shut him up (at least they thought) was to lock him up. Apparently that didn't work because Paul still taught and gave awesome lessons while there, but he considered it a good thing.
That's how I have to look at it. As much as it would be scary or might be hard to go through. If anything were to happen to me while on my trip, I WILL consider it an honor and would consider myself worthy because I did it in His name.
Although I will most likely not be going to countries that are hostile to Christianity while on my trip with YWAM, there is a chance I could be. That's scary as butt for me. To think of going into a country where people are not receptive to Gospel and could imprison me or my team while on the trip is not something I want to think about. But it is a possibility.
This topic has been on the back of my mind for a while now, because again it is something that could happen to me, but its been way back on my mind and I tend not to stress about it. Still, there are times when I sit and think that I could easily loose my life all for Christ. That's CRAZY! Is that something I really want to do? Is that a risk I want to take? Am I willing to make my mom worry while I am away? Would I actually stand up and profess Jesus whole heartily in the times of trouble like Paul, or would I deny running in the same crowd of Jesus like Peter?
Questions, questions, questions!!!! I want to say that I would do anything, and that no matter what I would not be a coward and run from the situation, but yet, I have never been imprisoned for my faith so I don't know what exactly my reaction would be.
So after some deep searching and preparing, and reading, and stressing, and thinking, and running, and going through all the motions, and of course praying about this, I came upon a verse that put my mind at ease during my Bible study last night. It simply says,
"Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer
dishonor for the name. And every day in the temple and from house to house, they did not cease
teaching and preaching Jesus as Christ." Acts 5:41-42They considered themselves worthy to suffer dishonor. Well hello smack in the face. Thanks God for showing me my worries are nothing and that I am once again not in control. I HAVE TO CONSIDER MYSELF WORTHY IF I AM DISHONORED. If I suffer for his name, then I am doing something right. I need not be worried about whether someone will reject me, or if I am locked in prison, cause it would be an honor.
Crazy how I would think that being in prison for sharing my faith or suffering for His name would be a bad thing. When in all actuality it means that I am doing what is good. When I read Paul's letters from prison he never has a negative look about it, he was happy to be there. He knew he was doing good and he was there not because of what he did was wrong, but because people didn't want to hear it and the only way to shut him up (at least they thought) was to lock him up. Apparently that didn't work because Paul still taught and gave awesome lessons while there, but he considered it a good thing.
That's how I have to look at it. As much as it would be scary or might be hard to go through. If anything were to happen to me while on my trip, I WILL consider it an honor and would consider myself worthy because I did it in His name.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Where is the Love
Love is something that we all have, do, and use on hopefully a daily basis. It was one of the foundations for Jesus' ministry. And I'm pretty convinced that 80% of songs are about love. It something that we can't escape, and yet sometimes its the hardest thing to find.
Lately it has become more and more apparent to me how much we don't love, how much I don't love. There are times I will say something, and quicker than I said do I regret it. There have been times when my brother will call and I'm not a big fan of talking on the phone in the first place, and he will call right as I'm taking a nap and I am so quick to snap at him, when in all actually I love my brother so much and I miss more than just about anything. But I am so quick to have a bad attitude or let my sleepiness take over and become short with my brother instead of talking with him like I really want to do.
I walk around school or public places and see how rude people are to one another, how rude I can be to someone else and it honestly makes me wonder where is the love? I want to break out and sing the Black Eye Peas song and dance around, but at the same time I ponder it. I typed into Biblegateway.com the word love and it brought up over 686 references in the Bible. Google brought up over 1.8 trillion responses. Really? 1.8 TRILLION and yet there are days that go by and I don't see love once? The Bible talks about it all the time, and I don't see it?
This is so hard for me to come to terms with. I don't see love, I didn't show love, people don't love. What are we coming to?!?! To me that means that I don't see Jesus, I didn't show Jesus, and people don't have Jesus. Jesus and God are Love, and yet its missing.
Around the start of the semester I started unknowingly at first, but then started purposefully giving a compliment to anyone that I came into almost direct contact with. Wait, let me clarify, strangers that I came into contact with. Something as simple as telling the lady that gave me my lunch that her hair was pretty or I like the design on her nails. This is so much fun and uplifting to do! I saw people perk up when they heard. I saw them in shock because they aren't used to someone saying something nice to them. Saying "thank you ma'am/sir" has had people giving me weird looks because they aren't used to kindness or gratitude for their low paying job.
We are a society that is built to love, thrives on love, wants to love, and yet, its lost. A lot.
I love the song by Nada Surf, which was also remade by Addison Road, "Always Love." This song is key. In it, it says, "always love, hate will get you every time." I don't think there has been one time when someone has shown me an act of love that I haven't felt better after. My mom shows me some of the best love. I don't think the love my mom gives me is ever resented. It feels so good to have her love. It feels good to be loved by anyone. It feels good to love someone else. It's an all around good feeling.
I hope you understand that I am totally guilty of this, and I need to stop and think about the love I'm showing to people or not showing to people. I need to embrace the act more often and show it more, reflect the amazing love I receive unto others. I need to love more. Cause when it comes down to it, I get wrapped up in the negative that life is throwing my way, and I forget to love everyday.
An act so simple, a word so short, and yet its so often forgotten.
Who loves you? Who do you love? When will you show love? These are the questions that I need to repeat and answer daily so that I remember how important and impacting it is to me.
When I went to see a friend up in Northern California we went to his church and sang a song that simple said "Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me." And it's right. God's love never fails, never gives up, and never runs out on me. I'm not saying that I can be God, but I can do my best to try and show the best love I can to others. He did it, why can't I?
Lately it has become more and more apparent to me how much we don't love, how much I don't love. There are times I will say something, and quicker than I said do I regret it. There have been times when my brother will call and I'm not a big fan of talking on the phone in the first place, and he will call right as I'm taking a nap and I am so quick to snap at him, when in all actually I love my brother so much and I miss more than just about anything. But I am so quick to have a bad attitude or let my sleepiness take over and become short with my brother instead of talking with him like I really want to do.
I walk around school or public places and see how rude people are to one another, how rude I can be to someone else and it honestly makes me wonder where is the love? I want to break out and sing the Black Eye Peas song and dance around, but at the same time I ponder it. I typed into Biblegateway.com the word love and it brought up over 686 references in the Bible. Google brought up over 1.8 trillion responses. Really? 1.8 TRILLION and yet there are days that go by and I don't see love once? The Bible talks about it all the time, and I don't see it?
This is so hard for me to come to terms with. I don't see love, I didn't show love, people don't love. What are we coming to?!?! To me that means that I don't see Jesus, I didn't show Jesus, and people don't have Jesus. Jesus and God are Love, and yet its missing.
Around the start of the semester I started unknowingly at first, but then started purposefully giving a compliment to anyone that I came into almost direct contact with. Wait, let me clarify, strangers that I came into contact with. Something as simple as telling the lady that gave me my lunch that her hair was pretty or I like the design on her nails. This is so much fun and uplifting to do! I saw people perk up when they heard. I saw them in shock because they aren't used to someone saying something nice to them. Saying "thank you ma'am/sir" has had people giving me weird looks because they aren't used to kindness or gratitude for their low paying job.
We are a society that is built to love, thrives on love, wants to love, and yet, its lost. A lot.
I love the song by Nada Surf, which was also remade by Addison Road, "Always Love." This song is key. In it, it says, "always love, hate will get you every time." I don't think there has been one time when someone has shown me an act of love that I haven't felt better after. My mom shows me some of the best love. I don't think the love my mom gives me is ever resented. It feels so good to have her love. It feels good to be loved by anyone. It feels good to love someone else. It's an all around good feeling.
I hope you understand that I am totally guilty of this, and I need to stop and think about the love I'm showing to people or not showing to people. I need to embrace the act more often and show it more, reflect the amazing love I receive unto others. I need to love more. Cause when it comes down to it, I get wrapped up in the negative that life is throwing my way, and I forget to love everyday.
An act so simple, a word so short, and yet its so often forgotten.
Who loves you? Who do you love? When will you show love? These are the questions that I need to repeat and answer daily so that I remember how important and impacting it is to me.
When I went to see a friend up in Northern California we went to his church and sang a song that simple said "Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me." And it's right. God's love never fails, never gives up, and never runs out on me. I'm not saying that I can be God, but I can do my best to try and show the best love I can to others. He did it, why can't I?
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Wearing a cape
Being a kid is a great time. Carefree and totally willing to do just about anything. Get to say just about whatever you want and get away with. And everyone thinks you are the cutest thing ever. Your clothes don't have to match and yet it still is acceptable. But once you hit age 10 you can't be that way anymore. You have to start acting like a grown up. You have to stop the child and start "becoming an adult." This time in life sucks. You are no longer carefree.
Over the past few days I've experienced childhood again in many ways. I've had moments of child like faith. Times when I don't even question it, I just do it and love the outcome. I've experienced child like behavior from the people around me in ways that situations have been handled. I've felt like a child kicking and screaming and throwing a fit because I simply just did not understand the situation and was over it. I also got to dress like a kid.
Dressing like a kid is my favorite. After working in retail for years and having to dress mannequins and help people find the perfect outfit, I find myself conforming to those ways of always having to match or look presentable. Thursday I went out to get supplies to make costumes for some friends and I rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of jeans and went. People did stare but it was so nice to just go out and not really care about how I appeared.
Then last night I got a cape. My friends were having a "zombie prom" for their birthdays. You didn't have to dress as a zombie but costumes were required. I was at a lost as to what to go as and my mom and I had to go to target to get a few things so we looked there. We found a little kids Superman shirt. We got that and attached a cape to it at my house real quick. I had unmatching shoes. My hair wasn't brushed and was pulled back. My socks didn't match. And yet, I was comfortable.
My cape was amazing. It kept my warm when I was cold. It covered that fact that I wasn't wearing a belt and my jeans were too big on me. I got to run around and act like I was flying! I got to be covered in this cape and loved it.
It's so easy to get caught up in life and always being the adult that we forget what its like to be like a child again. We are so ready to run away from God when problems arise or use Him as an excuse to why something has turned out the way it did. We have to be an "adult" at all times. We are bogged down by continually having to watch ourselves that we forget that in reality no matter what age we are, we are children. We loose touch with our inner fun sides, at times. We loose ourselves in today's life.
I remember when I lived in Kentucky and was going to school and lived close to my youngest cousin. He's 8 now, but at the time he had just turned 6. He said the best things to me. Like "I'm just going to get married to my work." Or when he asked my where I lived and I knew he wouldn't understand what a dorm was so I told him I lived at my school. He was so shocked and concerned. He thought I lived under a desk. When he saw I had a bed and a bathroom he then understood a little better.
But one of my favorite memories is when I was at his house one day and I was talking with my aunt. I was having a hard time with something and I'm pretty sure I was crying and visibly upset. He came into the room and noticed something was wrong. So he climbed up into my lap and asked me what was wrong. I told him I was having a bad day and was having a tough time that day. He looked my straight in the eyes and said "It's okay. Jesus loves you and He's in control of everything so it will all be okay soon."
Childlike. A six year old had more faith than I did that everything was going to work out the right way. He UNDERSTOOD that God hands were on everything that we do and that no matter what it was okay.
I love my cousin to death. And I know that in my life I need to wear a cape more often. I need to be carefree sometimes. And most of all I need to have that Childlike faith. And know no matter what God has His hands on me, and that wearing a cape is like wearing Jesus. Cause He's always got my back.
Over the past few days I've experienced childhood again in many ways. I've had moments of child like faith. Times when I don't even question it, I just do it and love the outcome. I've experienced child like behavior from the people around me in ways that situations have been handled. I've felt like a child kicking and screaming and throwing a fit because I simply just did not understand the situation and was over it. I also got to dress like a kid.
Dressing like a kid is my favorite. After working in retail for years and having to dress mannequins and help people find the perfect outfit, I find myself conforming to those ways of always having to match or look presentable. Thursday I went out to get supplies to make costumes for some friends and I rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of jeans and went. People did stare but it was so nice to just go out and not really care about how I appeared.
Then last night I got a cape. My friends were having a "zombie prom" for their birthdays. You didn't have to dress as a zombie but costumes were required. I was at a lost as to what to go as and my mom and I had to go to target to get a few things so we looked there. We found a little kids Superman shirt. We got that and attached a cape to it at my house real quick. I had unmatching shoes. My hair wasn't brushed and was pulled back. My socks didn't match. And yet, I was comfortable.
My cape was amazing. It kept my warm when I was cold. It covered that fact that I wasn't wearing a belt and my jeans were too big on me. I got to run around and act like I was flying! I got to be covered in this cape and loved it.
It's so easy to get caught up in life and always being the adult that we forget what its like to be like a child again. We are so ready to run away from God when problems arise or use Him as an excuse to why something has turned out the way it did. We have to be an "adult" at all times. We are bogged down by continually having to watch ourselves that we forget that in reality no matter what age we are, we are children. We loose touch with our inner fun sides, at times. We loose ourselves in today's life.
I remember when I lived in Kentucky and was going to school and lived close to my youngest cousin. He's 8 now, but at the time he had just turned 6. He said the best things to me. Like "I'm just going to get married to my work." Or when he asked my where I lived and I knew he wouldn't understand what a dorm was so I told him I lived at my school. He was so shocked and concerned. He thought I lived under a desk. When he saw I had a bed and a bathroom he then understood a little better.
But one of my favorite memories is when I was at his house one day and I was talking with my aunt. I was having a hard time with something and I'm pretty sure I was crying and visibly upset. He came into the room and noticed something was wrong. So he climbed up into my lap and asked me what was wrong. I told him I was having a bad day and was having a tough time that day. He looked my straight in the eyes and said "It's okay. Jesus loves you and He's in control of everything so it will all be okay soon."
Childlike. A six year old had more faith than I did that everything was going to work out the right way. He UNDERSTOOD that God hands were on everything that we do and that no matter what it was okay.
I love my cousin to death. And I know that in my life I need to wear a cape more often. I need to be carefree sometimes. And most of all I need to have that Childlike faith. And know no matter what God has His hands on me, and that wearing a cape is like wearing Jesus. Cause He's always got my back.
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