Writing the date today in my journal during Bible Study was a total shock for me. I wrote on accident Dec 28 which is my birthday. Today is one month til my 21st birthday and 7 months til I leave on my mission trip.
Although this date isn't set in stone for when I will leave on my trip with all my planning and scheduling and everything that keeps me up at night sometimes all say that I will be leaving in June 28. It's almost scary to think about that date for me though. It seems so far away and yet so close. It's also scary to think that this time next year I will be off in some part of the world that I'm not even sure of. I won't have thanksgiving with my families and won't be black friday shopping with my mom. That's just weird for me to think about.
And then there's my birthday. I'll be 21. In every sense I will be legal. Especially here in Vegas. I could go to a club if I wanted to. I could gamble, if I wanted to. I can drink for the first time legally, if I wanted to. Weird to think about for me. There have been like thousand plans for this day and the only one I'm really sure of is that I am going snowboarding with at least my best friend. Everyone else is more than welcome to come, I think we are going to Lee Canyon for the fact that its close and they didn't raise their prices. If I get enough people to tell me to go to Brianhead I might consider going up there. But at the moment it will be me and Matt heading up there and catching the first runs of the day and coming back exhausted.
It's weird to think about all of this. I'm uber stressed with school ending. I have 7 tests, two days of classes, and two papers and I will finally be done. Then comes the semester of 21 (not 24 like I had planned) credits. It will be a long semester til I leave.
I'm excited and hopeful though. I know it will all come sooner than I expected and I'll be home again before I know it. Oh life.... please give me a break so i can lay in bed and do nothing....
SO nothing too important or life changing in this blog. Just dates and reminders that time is flying by faster and faster.... Let me know if anyone is down to go skiing or snowboarding on my birthday. It's pay your own way (sorry I can't pick up the tab.)
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Suffering for the Good
When I think about suffering it is never a pleasant thought. I don't think it would be for anyone. But constantly in my faith I find that many people did and do suffer. There is a book called Jesus Freaks that talks about people in the last century really who suffered in the name of Christ. We tend to call them martyrs. These people I almost admire. They weren't like Peter and denied knowing Christ when asked. Tons of people throughout the years have suffered all in the name, and that's a scary thought.
Although I will most likely not be going to countries that are hostile to Christianity while on my trip with YWAM, there is a chance I could be. That's scary as butt for me. To think of going into a country where people are not receptive to Gospel and could imprison me or my team while on the trip is not something I want to think about. But it is a possibility.
This topic has been on the back of my mind for a while now, because again it is something that could happen to me, but its been way back on my mind and I tend not to stress about it. Still, there are times when I sit and think that I could easily loose my life all for Christ. That's CRAZY! Is that something I really want to do? Is that a risk I want to take? Am I willing to make my mom worry while I am away? Would I actually stand up and profess Jesus whole heartily in the times of trouble like Paul, or would I deny running in the same crowd of Jesus like Peter?
Questions, questions, questions!!!! I want to say that I would do anything, and that no matter what I would not be a coward and run from the situation, but yet, I have never been imprisoned for my faith so I don't know what exactly my reaction would be.
So after some deep searching and preparing, and reading, and stressing, and thinking, and running, and going through all the motions, and of course praying about this, I came upon a verse that put my mind at ease during my Bible study last night. It simply says,
They considered themselves worthy to suffer dishonor. Well hello smack in the face. Thanks God for showing me my worries are nothing and that I am once again not in control. I HAVE TO CONSIDER MYSELF WORTHY IF I AM DISHONORED. If I suffer for his name, then I am doing something right. I need not be worried about whether someone will reject me, or if I am locked in prison, cause it would be an honor.
Crazy how I would think that being in prison for sharing my faith or suffering for His name would be a bad thing. When in all actuality it means that I am doing what is good. When I read Paul's letters from prison he never has a negative look about it, he was happy to be there. He knew he was doing good and he was there not because of what he did was wrong, but because people didn't want to hear it and the only way to shut him up (at least they thought) was to lock him up. Apparently that didn't work because Paul still taught and gave awesome lessons while there, but he considered it a good thing.
That's how I have to look at it. As much as it would be scary or might be hard to go through. If anything were to happen to me while on my trip, I WILL consider it an honor and would consider myself worthy because I did it in His name.
Although I will most likely not be going to countries that are hostile to Christianity while on my trip with YWAM, there is a chance I could be. That's scary as butt for me. To think of going into a country where people are not receptive to Gospel and could imprison me or my team while on the trip is not something I want to think about. But it is a possibility.
This topic has been on the back of my mind for a while now, because again it is something that could happen to me, but its been way back on my mind and I tend not to stress about it. Still, there are times when I sit and think that I could easily loose my life all for Christ. That's CRAZY! Is that something I really want to do? Is that a risk I want to take? Am I willing to make my mom worry while I am away? Would I actually stand up and profess Jesus whole heartily in the times of trouble like Paul, or would I deny running in the same crowd of Jesus like Peter?
Questions, questions, questions!!!! I want to say that I would do anything, and that no matter what I would not be a coward and run from the situation, but yet, I have never been imprisoned for my faith so I don't know what exactly my reaction would be.
So after some deep searching and preparing, and reading, and stressing, and thinking, and running, and going through all the motions, and of course praying about this, I came upon a verse that put my mind at ease during my Bible study last night. It simply says,
"Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer
dishonor for the name. And every day in the temple and from house to house, they did not cease
teaching and preaching Jesus as Christ." Acts 5:41-42They considered themselves worthy to suffer dishonor. Well hello smack in the face. Thanks God for showing me my worries are nothing and that I am once again not in control. I HAVE TO CONSIDER MYSELF WORTHY IF I AM DISHONORED. If I suffer for his name, then I am doing something right. I need not be worried about whether someone will reject me, or if I am locked in prison, cause it would be an honor.
Crazy how I would think that being in prison for sharing my faith or suffering for His name would be a bad thing. When in all actuality it means that I am doing what is good. When I read Paul's letters from prison he never has a negative look about it, he was happy to be there. He knew he was doing good and he was there not because of what he did was wrong, but because people didn't want to hear it and the only way to shut him up (at least they thought) was to lock him up. Apparently that didn't work because Paul still taught and gave awesome lessons while there, but he considered it a good thing.
That's how I have to look at it. As much as it would be scary or might be hard to go through. If anything were to happen to me while on my trip, I WILL consider it an honor and would consider myself worthy because I did it in His name.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Where is the Love
Love is something that we all have, do, and use on hopefully a daily basis. It was one of the foundations for Jesus' ministry. And I'm pretty convinced that 80% of songs are about love. It something that we can't escape, and yet sometimes its the hardest thing to find.
Lately it has become more and more apparent to me how much we don't love, how much I don't love. There are times I will say something, and quicker than I said do I regret it. There have been times when my brother will call and I'm not a big fan of talking on the phone in the first place, and he will call right as I'm taking a nap and I am so quick to snap at him, when in all actually I love my brother so much and I miss more than just about anything. But I am so quick to have a bad attitude or let my sleepiness take over and become short with my brother instead of talking with him like I really want to do.
I walk around school or public places and see how rude people are to one another, how rude I can be to someone else and it honestly makes me wonder where is the love? I want to break out and sing the Black Eye Peas song and dance around, but at the same time I ponder it. I typed into Biblegateway.com the word love and it brought up over 686 references in the Bible. Google brought up over 1.8 trillion responses. Really? 1.8 TRILLION and yet there are days that go by and I don't see love once? The Bible talks about it all the time, and I don't see it?
This is so hard for me to come to terms with. I don't see love, I didn't show love, people don't love. What are we coming to?!?! To me that means that I don't see Jesus, I didn't show Jesus, and people don't have Jesus. Jesus and God are Love, and yet its missing.
Around the start of the semester I started unknowingly at first, but then started purposefully giving a compliment to anyone that I came into almost direct contact with. Wait, let me clarify, strangers that I came into contact with. Something as simple as telling the lady that gave me my lunch that her hair was pretty or I like the design on her nails. This is so much fun and uplifting to do! I saw people perk up when they heard. I saw them in shock because they aren't used to someone saying something nice to them. Saying "thank you ma'am/sir" has had people giving me weird looks because they aren't used to kindness or gratitude for their low paying job.
We are a society that is built to love, thrives on love, wants to love, and yet, its lost. A lot.
I love the song by Nada Surf, which was also remade by Addison Road, "Always Love." This song is key. In it, it says, "always love, hate will get you every time." I don't think there has been one time when someone has shown me an act of love that I haven't felt better after. My mom shows me some of the best love. I don't think the love my mom gives me is ever resented. It feels so good to have her love. It feels good to be loved by anyone. It feels good to love someone else. It's an all around good feeling.
I hope you understand that I am totally guilty of this, and I need to stop and think about the love I'm showing to people or not showing to people. I need to embrace the act more often and show it more, reflect the amazing love I receive unto others. I need to love more. Cause when it comes down to it, I get wrapped up in the negative that life is throwing my way, and I forget to love everyday.
An act so simple, a word so short, and yet its so often forgotten.
Who loves you? Who do you love? When will you show love? These are the questions that I need to repeat and answer daily so that I remember how important and impacting it is to me.
When I went to see a friend up in Northern California we went to his church and sang a song that simple said "Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me." And it's right. God's love never fails, never gives up, and never runs out on me. I'm not saying that I can be God, but I can do my best to try and show the best love I can to others. He did it, why can't I?
Lately it has become more and more apparent to me how much we don't love, how much I don't love. There are times I will say something, and quicker than I said do I regret it. There have been times when my brother will call and I'm not a big fan of talking on the phone in the first place, and he will call right as I'm taking a nap and I am so quick to snap at him, when in all actually I love my brother so much and I miss more than just about anything. But I am so quick to have a bad attitude or let my sleepiness take over and become short with my brother instead of talking with him like I really want to do.
I walk around school or public places and see how rude people are to one another, how rude I can be to someone else and it honestly makes me wonder where is the love? I want to break out and sing the Black Eye Peas song and dance around, but at the same time I ponder it. I typed into Biblegateway.com the word love and it brought up over 686 references in the Bible. Google brought up over 1.8 trillion responses. Really? 1.8 TRILLION and yet there are days that go by and I don't see love once? The Bible talks about it all the time, and I don't see it?
This is so hard for me to come to terms with. I don't see love, I didn't show love, people don't love. What are we coming to?!?! To me that means that I don't see Jesus, I didn't show Jesus, and people don't have Jesus. Jesus and God are Love, and yet its missing.
Around the start of the semester I started unknowingly at first, but then started purposefully giving a compliment to anyone that I came into almost direct contact with. Wait, let me clarify, strangers that I came into contact with. Something as simple as telling the lady that gave me my lunch that her hair was pretty or I like the design on her nails. This is so much fun and uplifting to do! I saw people perk up when they heard. I saw them in shock because they aren't used to someone saying something nice to them. Saying "thank you ma'am/sir" has had people giving me weird looks because they aren't used to kindness or gratitude for their low paying job.
We are a society that is built to love, thrives on love, wants to love, and yet, its lost. A lot.
I love the song by Nada Surf, which was also remade by Addison Road, "Always Love." This song is key. In it, it says, "always love, hate will get you every time." I don't think there has been one time when someone has shown me an act of love that I haven't felt better after. My mom shows me some of the best love. I don't think the love my mom gives me is ever resented. It feels so good to have her love. It feels good to be loved by anyone. It feels good to love someone else. It's an all around good feeling.
I hope you understand that I am totally guilty of this, and I need to stop and think about the love I'm showing to people or not showing to people. I need to embrace the act more often and show it more, reflect the amazing love I receive unto others. I need to love more. Cause when it comes down to it, I get wrapped up in the negative that life is throwing my way, and I forget to love everyday.
An act so simple, a word so short, and yet its so often forgotten.
Who loves you? Who do you love? When will you show love? These are the questions that I need to repeat and answer daily so that I remember how important and impacting it is to me.
When I went to see a friend up in Northern California we went to his church and sang a song that simple said "Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me." And it's right. God's love never fails, never gives up, and never runs out on me. I'm not saying that I can be God, but I can do my best to try and show the best love I can to others. He did it, why can't I?
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