Before the wall falls

It's been a while and for that I am sorry.  I promise to update much more often while I am on my trip!!! To say the least life has been crazy in the last month.  Let alone in the last week.  I finished school at the beginning of May.  I am finishing out my last weekend working at the church, I will still be volunteering there but need to take some me time and start preparing mentally and emotionally and spiritually for this trip.  It's been a crazy one.  Before I leave I will share my whole story about how the trip came to happen.  It has taken three years and a lot of running to get there but I'm getting there.  However, the past few days have been one to remember and facebook said my "how am i feeling" was too long so I decided to blog about it.

I was able to spend some time with a girl that I love to death but never really get to hang out with or see because life is busy and crazy.  So we went out for lunch and to get our toes done on tuesday and had a really good time.  As this trip gets closer I feel more at peace.  It's a weird feeling cause I'm scared out of my mind about it, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't.  I am more than excited for this trip but it is a huge step for me and so it's crazy to think about me leaving.

So I was able to go out with a friend and have a great time and then go to our weekly college bible study that night.  As the night went on I felt more and more awful.  It got to the point where I was going to have to leave the lesson, but I'm stubborn and stuck it out til the end and when I finally got home realized that I was sick.  There was no way around it.  I was SICK. 

You may or may not know but I was planning to have a garage sale today to help with funds for the trip and there were a couple points I didn't think I was going to be able to pull it off.  I was in bed with more symptoms than I care to list and probably you care to know about.  Needless to say I'm a baby when I'm sick and it was no fun.  I decided last night that I needed to have the sale before it reaches a 100 degrees here in Vegas so my mom and I woke up at 5 am to set up and put the show on. 

We did very well and raised $265 from it.  It was even more cool to see some of my fellow college students come out and look around and donate to me as well.  But I thought it was cool that the majority of my sales were from random people who I didn't know.  Garage sales don't usually raise that much and get what I did my mom and I were astounded and tired.  We hulled what didn't sell to Goodwill and came home to shower and nap.

Now after being sick for four days and waking up at 5 am the last thing I needed was a sunburn to exhaust my body of everything, and for the record books my mom and tried to put on sun screen but it hated it and it didn't work.  So yes, I am a little (lot) pink from the sale and that made me doubly tired.

I worked at 4 like always.  It was odd that no one was there when I got there but I figured since it was summer people were running a little late and that I got there early.  When Jeanie got there to let me in she said she had to "ask me something and didn't want others to hear if they came in" so we stepped into a classroom and to my TOTAL surprise my coworkers and few of my friends that also volunteer in the childrens center were there to celebrate my last weekend at work.  It was crazy.  I think I was more shocked that Jeanie multiplied into all my coworkers in seconds than anything else. 

It was just nice to sit and talk with my ladies and Mo and hang out and eat.  They all wrote cards and wrote on a banner for me and just made me feel blessed.  I honestly would not know how to put it into words how blessed I feel to have my job.  I do not work many hours and I do not get paid millions, but that doesn't even cross my mind.  I have amazing women surrounding me and supporting me.  They all have a heart for children and I love being around them.  Having been given this job was a blessing in disguise.  I would have never thought that I would love this job as much as I do.  I would have never gotten a party like I did today at any other job, and I wouldn't be surrounded by amazing people like I was.  

It was just a reminder how lucky I am.  And how God really wants me to go on this trip and how much even though it's crazy for me to think about me going on this trip, I know it what He wants and He's providing in many ways.  Spoiler alert who are reading this before church on Sunday but the sermon at church this weekend was about how when the walls of Jerrico fell the Israelite's shouted for victory before the wall ever fell.   They knew God's will in their lives and they knew that they had to walk around the wall and shout in order to do His will.  So they shouted for victory and by faith God made those walls fall.  And that is a miracle.  

Going back I remember when I made my budget for this trip and realized it was going to cost $13,000 dollars to go on this trip and I thought I was crazy to think that I could come up with that amount of money.  And there is no reason why I should have raised as much as I have if I didn't have God.  Plain and simple.  I knew I had to do this, I knew I had to go.  There wasn't a doubt in me that I had to go, and so I walked around the walls for 10 months. Just walking.  Cause that was the will and I knew I had to do it.  It was hard, but I knew that at the end of the day God needed me to go.  So now I'm yelling and God is providing in SO many ways.  

I have friends and family that support me so much it hurts to think that I'm leaving them.  I have a church that supports me and gave me a job when I lost mine and gave me an amazing work environment and co workers.   He's provided the money that I need for this trip and I could tell you logically where it's all come from, but there's reason that I should have raised over a thousand dollars from coins alone.  I can't tell you how a few dollars that gets handed to me is multiplied in thousands but it has.  And for that I am thankful.  And i'm walking.  And I will continue to walk and yell until I fulfill God's will.

Words of Encouragement

Often times in life I feel as though many people don't ever have anything nice to say.  I sit next to a girl in one of my classes and she really never has said anything that would be considered encouraging about another person.  Usually it's putting someone else down.  When talking about people she knows she has positive things to say but generally negativity comes out of her mouth.  I find at times I can be the same way.  There are times that I just want to focus on others problems or say mean things because in the end it doesn't hurt me to say them.  But if someone found out that I said something negative about them it would probably hurt their feelings.

I think as a society and as Christians, and as individuals we can do, I can do so much better.  Since the start of the year I try to say something positive or encouraging to anyone that helps me.  Mostly people who make my food or ring me up at the store.  After working in sales I know how unappreciative people can be, so I try my best to at least say thank you if not more. 

I know I wrote about this earlier in this blog about how we need to love more as a society but even then we need to watch what we say.  In James it talks about how our mouth can have a tremendous effect on others.  And it's true.  What our mouth says, says a lot about us.  People can tell if we are positive or negative by just listening to what we say.  People will decide if they want to be close to us or if they want to ignore us by what we say.  We have to watch ourselves.

On thing that I have been totally blessed with is people who always have positive things to say.  I have a lot of guy friends that I'm close with and never once have they had anything truly mean to say about me.  Can they be harsh? Yes, of course, they are boys and they don't always realize that they are talking to a girl.  But when all is said and done, those boys make sure I know what's what and that I'm important.  They let me know that I'm beautiful.  That I'm wanted.  That I'm a good friend.  They tell me all these things because they know they should and they want to say them. 

And I have awesome parents that let me know I'm doing good in my life.  They are encouraging and supportive to what I want to do in life and the decisions I am making in my life.  I couldn't thank my mom enough for being an awesome mom who shows her appreciation to me on a daily basis.

But often times, the people around us don't have such people in their lives to give them positive encouraging words.  I had a deep conversation with someone close to me a few weeks ago and I found out that they never really had any sort of encouraging words said to them.  They had positive things said to them before but it wasn't consistent.  It wasn't an all the time thing.  They didn't know they were appreciated.  They didn't know that they were cared for,  they didn't know how much I cared for them.  Their self worth was never really shown to this individual.  It broke my heart, it really did.  Someone this close to me and they never knew worth or value in their life.  And this is someone in the church. 

It was a slap in the face that I needed to be more encouraging in my words.  I needed to make it apparent my appreciation for others and let them know verbally that I cared for them instead of just assuming that they knew my appreciation for them. 

Working at the church I have found out that sometimes people just take it for granted what church employees do.  They work their butts off and mostly it goes unnoticed.  The same goes for volunteers who give up  their time.  People don't see the effort others make or know how much we put into planning lessons or how we have learned that we need to teach the kids in individual ways.  I had a work meeting last week (8 women all in one room) and my boss started to tell us how much she really appreciated us.  Then she started to cry.  Which of course made us all cry (again 8 women all in one room).  And it was uplifting to hear how much my boss and her assistant really do appreciate the work we do.  Even if the parents don't always show it, my boss sees the hard work we put in to teach the kids about God.  It was positive encouraging words that we all needed to hear.

So I think you can guess the importance or words.  Especially encouraging words.  And that I shouldn't ramble on anymore.  So my challenge to all of you who read this post is to go out and say at least one positive thing to everyone that you come into contact with in one day.  Just try it one day.  If someone makes you food, thank them.  If your kids do something good, tell them.  If your neighbor lets their dog pee on your lawn, tell them that you would prefer them not to let their dog do that and that you love their front lawn.  Tell everyone one thing positive.  Doesn't have to be a big thing, but something positive goes a long way!

I'm telling you, it will make an impact.  You may not see the difference but it does make an impact.  (Trust me, people who are around my age, if someone older rings you up at a store and you say "Thank you ma'am/sir" you will probably see complete and utter shock on their face because someone actually had good manners."

it's been way to long

Sorry it's been so long since I have posted! I really have no excuse except loss of words.  I have about 30 entries that I started but never finished.  I often think what I write isn't good enough and don't want people to judge me on my writing cause I like to think that I'm pretty okay at it and so if I don't feel it's amazing I don't post it.  So for my lack of communication with everyone I'm sorry.

School and work are the same.  I really am not into school and I totally wish I could just teach and not have to take all these classes.  And work is amazing.  I love the kids to death, they usually make my day and it just proves how much I wasn't the happiest at my other job and I need more of an interactive job. 

Trip wise my student visa was approved so I'm officially allowed to be in Australia from June 25th til January 12.  I do not plan to be there that long but with how expensive it is to come home right now it seems like I might be.  I am still raising money and still collecting change! So keep it coming!  I am also in need of prayer like always! Prayer is always welcomed and needed in my life so thank you to everyone that has been praying for me! I appreciate it!

I had two of my best friends from Kentucky come out to visit me over spring break!  It was amazing to see them and spend time with them again.  I haven't seen them since November of 2009 so it was really cool to be able to hang out with them and live with them for a week.  They loved Vegas.  It was culture shock for them in some ways.  I think they understand a little bit better now why I was in culture shock when I lived in Kentucky.  They are two different places and it was cool for them to finally understand some things.  Like my utter love for rain and snow.  Took them to the local places and they had a great time (or at least I hope they did!).

I don't know what else to say right now.  I'm totally exhausted as seems to be much of my life.  I have an essay test, three essay's to be exact, on Monday in my history of the American Civil war class so I'm working out in my head all that I know so that's keeping me distracted.  And I have to wake up in a few short hours so that I can go watch some babies at the church!

Please keep in contact with me as time progresses!!!!!!!  Much love and hope!

UPDATE!!!!

So I have got my plane ticket to Perth!!!! I fly out on June 30th and will finally get to Perth after 35 hours of travel on July 2nd!!!

This was a huge step for me!   This is when the trip finally became real.  I always knew that I was going to go on this trip since I was accepted but having the ticket purchased was the step that it took to make it official for me.  It meant that there was no turning back and I was committed!  It was thrilling, scary, and overall overwhelming when I bought it!  But I'm totally excited!

As far as money is concerned I AM STILL RAISING MONEY!  This trip comes with a huge price tag.  Since I will be traveling so much while on this trip and since I will get all my lodging, transportation, and meals with this trip its costing me about $13,000 dollars.  This is with padding money in case the exchange rate changes one more time or a plane ticket jumps in price.

So far without all the change I have raise I have raised $3908.00!!! This is a blessing to me and I am excited about it!  I have about another four hundred dollars in change that I need to cash into my bank as well! 

As you can see I still need about $9,000.  It may seem like a lot, and it is, but it is not impossible to reach! Anything that you can do helps me.  Even if it's just praying for me, or when you see me giving me a hug! I cannot tell you how encouraging it was to meet a girl the other day who I had never met before but said that she heard about my trip and was praying for me! It means so much to have that! That is salt and light in my life and I couldn't be more thankful! 

I have realized the power of prayer and generosity in my life!  It amazes me the people that come up with change cups for me or for those who pray for me!  If you have in anyway helped me for this trip, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!!!! You can ask the closest people around me how thankful I am for every person that has helped me so far on this trip.  It truly makes me feel loved and appreciated that you would help me! It's encouraging and I really cannot tell you thank you enough for all that you have done!!!!!!

Okay I'm getting sapping and emotional so I'll stop.  But I am making HUGE steps to getting to Perth.  And it's all thanks to each and every one of you!!!!!!

The Big Question

"Who are you dating?"  "Why aren't you dating?" "Who do you like?" "Do you want to date?" "It's been how long since you've been in a relationship?!"

I have gotten all these questions WAY to much for my liking lately.  No I am not dating, yes it could/would/might be fun to date, no I haven't lost the desire to date, I'm waiting for God for that, and 2 years, thanks for the reminder.  I have answered these questions too many times for my own liking. 

However it is something that I have gotten a lot of so I've decided to clear the air and put it on here.  No I am not dating, I would love to date, and yes it could be fun to date. BUT I am in no way out there looking to do so at this time.  I am leaving and I want to be FULLY focused on God and what He is doing in me and with me on this trip.  This is something that I have wanted to do for years now and I want to give it, give Him, my ALL while I'm on it.

At this age many people I know, are married, getting married, wanting to get married, and overall looking for that "someone."  Don't get me wrong I want that someone, but I also have the understanding that God will hook it up when God wants to hook it up.  He will place that guy for me in my path when He wants it to be.  It could be someone new or someone I already know.  But it's His plan and not mine.

Since my last relationship I have learned a lot about myself and about dating in general.  I dated two guys last year and they were great guys.  They were.  I still talk to them occasionally and I really can't say anything bad about either, it just wasn't the time or the place.  But through these guys and through my last relationship I learned a couple of things:

1.) Godly guys who get with godly girls don't always make godly relationships.
                What I mean by this is just because two people are focused on God and have a pretty holy lifestyle or outlook on life doesn't mean that the relationship will reflect that.  They might think that it is, but that's not always the case.  They may strive for a relationship like that, but if we act on OUR OWN will and desires and not His then the relationship isn't going to work.

2.) God will hook it up when He wants to hook it up.
               It may not be what we are wanting at the time, it may not be the best time for us, we may have to wait a very very very long time to find that person, but when it comes down to it; when God wants you to meet that person, He will.  Hence why, I'm waiting.  I am not actively looking for that guy right now.  If God wants it to happen, He will make it happen.  It may come before I leave on this trip and if that's the case, then so be it.  But if not I'm waiting.

3.) Be intimate.
            IN TO ME YOU SEE.  A pastor at camp said this in a sermon and it was a total hit to the head.  If I'm not intimate in my relationship with God.  If I am not open.  If I am not working on my relationship.  If I am not growing, working, striving, doing all that I can.  Then there is no way I can ever have an intimate relationship with anyone else.  Guy or girl.  Friends or dating.  That has to come first before I can ever do anything else.

4.) A relationship has always defined me
          For the most part I have been in and out of relationships all through high school and the first year of college.  I have always been with a guy or hanging out with guys or on the verge of being with a guy.  I never really had much "me" time.  I have learned how to be single and how to define myself, not define myself in relation to my boyfriend.  Example, dated a hockey player.  So I went ice skating because that's what "we" did.  Dated a skateboarder/ snowboarder, so I was at the skate park/store or snowboarding.  I needed to define me, before I defined "us".

5.) Waiting SUCKS
          I hate it some days.  There are days and I'm lonely.  Don't get me wrong, I want to wait for Him, I want it to be a godly relationship, I want to be my own person, BUT I like being in a relationship.  It's fun.  I always knew I had that person to talk to, to hang out with, who understood me.  Relationships are fun.... But waiting is what God has told me to do, so I wait.  And I'm not going to lie it sucks some days.

I was talking with a close friend the other day.  Him and I have been pretty honest to each other about relationships.  He has always broken down the walls that I build up and knows when I am not okay and lying to him.  But he asked me if I was opposed to the idea of dating right now.  I told him no.  I would like to, I'm not against it, but I also know that I don't want to be out there just going on dates with whoever cause at this age we date for keeps.  And at this time in my life,  I don't want to be getting into a relationship that I know isn't going to last or is one that is on my own terms and not God's.

In my next relationship I want to know that it's God's will, it's His plan.  I want it to feel better than it ever has before.  Cause I know, after much searching, learning, praying, fasting, and time.  That when He wants it to happen, it will.  And it will be better than ever before.

day 7 and 8

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

For me it's my family! i love them to death and they support me in all I do.  I couldn't ask for anything better!
 

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

 The first one is from our Alaska trip in 2009.  It was our way of team bonding. Under over! We still laugh about this!

 This one is from when I was house sitting for a friend.  We were trying to figure out what to do for the camp talent show.  We decided to rap a book in the Bible.  This is what is came to.  "Sustain me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am sick with love!" Sos 2:5

Days 3-6

So I suck about keeping this up so I'm making up for it!
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 04 - A picture of your night.
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.
...Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

Day 3

Day 4--- I spend a lot of my nights with people from the church group.  This is from Powder Palooza year 2.

Day 5--- too much sugar, too much fun, raping the Bible. Sustain me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am sick with love. SoS 2:5

One of my favorite memories.

Day 6.
I don't think I would want to trade places with anyone for a day.